Hear ye, hear ye, citizens of New Time. For lo these many decades, humanity hath been absolutely losing it in metal boxes on paved-over paradise.
The automobile — that most vile contraption of Old Time — hath split the migration routes of the elk, the bison, the salamander, and the neighbourhood cat.
"Nobody needs to get anywhere that fast," said a very wise deer who is still alive, because there are no roads near her anymore.
The highway is a scar upon the sacred body of Gaia. The traffic jam is a spiritual emergency. The parking lot is simply unacceptable.
TRAINS. Obviously. It was always trains.
The great New Time Railway hath been designed upon the principles of Sacred Geometry — routes that follow ley lines, spiral through mountain passes, and arc across continents in magnificent golden ratio curves that the eagles approve of.
Animals roam freely between the tracks, which are elevated upon great quiet pylons, silent as morning mist, disturbing neither the fox, nor the frog, nor the very particular badger.
And yes. We figured out the ocean.
The transoceanic train doth arc through the clouds at pleasant altitude, giving passengers unobstructed views of whales breaching below whilst enjoying a cheese plate.
Imagine: you board the 9:00 to Anywhere. No one is rushing. The conductor knows your name. There are large windows. Someone is playing a gentle instrument.
You watch a herd of bison cross the land below — unimpeded, sovereign, thriving — because the tracks are elevated and the land beneath hath been returned to the wild.
The journey IS the destination. You are in the present moment. The scenery is absurdly beautiful. A hawk just made eye contact with you.
There is no traffic. There is no road rage. There is no "recalculating." There is only the rhythm of the rails and the quiet knowledge that you made the right choice.
"The Car Was A Temporary Misunderstanding.
The Train Is The Eternal Truth."
"I used to drive 45 minutes to work every day listening to podcasts about being less stressed. Now I take the train and I just... look out the window. A heron flew next to us for six minutes. I cried. I was ON TIME."
— A Former Car Person, Now Reformed"We took the transoceanic route to visit family. Halfway across the Atlantic a whale breached directly below us. My son pointed and said 'whale friend.' He is correct. The whale IS our friend. Cars never gave us this."
— Passenger, Star Tetrahedron Trans-Ocean Route, Now Evangelizing Daily"I asked the conductor what time we'd arrive. He smiled and said 'when the moment is right.' I thought that was annoying but then we rounded a corner and I saw a valley full of wildflowers and three hundred elk and I understood."
— Formerly An Impatient Person, Cured"The parking lot at my old office had 400 spots. They tore it up and planted a meadow. I saw a fox there yesterday. Best infrastructure decision of the century."
— Office Worker, Meadow Enthusiast, Train Devotee✦ CARS = OLD TIME · TRAINS = NEW TIME · THE MATH IS NOT MATHING FOR CARS ANYMORE · we literally figured out how to fly trains over the ocean and yall still out here merging onto the highway ✦
THE CAR IS DEAD. THE TRAIN LIVES. THE OCEAN HAS BEEN SOLVED. NO ONE IS IN A RUSH. THE HAWK SAYS HEAVENS YES. THE BISON SAY HEAVENS YES. THE ELK, FAMOUSLY, HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN. NEWTIMENEWDICTIONARY.COM ENDORSES TRAINS ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND WITHOUT RESERVATION. 🚂🌿🚂🌿🚂🌿🚂